The Encyclopedia of Me by Karen Rivers

Author:Karen Rivers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2012-07-19T16:00:00+00:00

Mesopotamia

I know nothing about Mesopotamia, but when I think of an encyclopedia, it’s the first thing I think of. I have no idea why. If you are really curious about the details of Mesopotamia, you should go to a garage sale and purchase your very own set of gold-edged books, which contain the answers that you seek, plus millions more.

Encyclopedias are really pretty awesome,94 you know.

Mohism

A Chinese philosophy, sometimes also called “School of Mo,” which makes it sound like a movie spoofing something serious. Basically the idea is that you should love everyone exactly the same amount: your mom, your brothers, your teacher, the guy at the bus stop with the waist-length beard, Mrs. O’Malley, whoever. ALL THE SAME. Which is ridic, because you can’t really choose how much you love a person. It’s not a decision. Sometimes you meet someone, and you’re like, “Oh, hello, you seem nice enough, maybe we’ll be acquaintances who say hello in the hall sometimes or share a pen if one of us forgets ours at home,” so you don’t love them at all. And other times, you’ll meet someone and you’ll think about them all the time until you suspect you might be going a bit crazy and then they’ll kiss you in an ice cream shop and then call you, and you’ll hang up on them, and not see them again until you spend the night with them in the mall, where they will kiss you again, and you’ll keep thinking about it over and over again, and then you would know that if you went to the School of Mo, you would flunk out entirely and be asked to never set foot on the campus again.

See also Ice Cream Incident, The; Kai; Mega Mall.

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